The Death Eaters Union
by Queen of the Scoubies
Summary: ‘The DeathEaters Union…fighting against poor working conditions, below average pay, unfair dismissal, and discrimination!’ What or should I say who else are they rallying against? Havent figured?Better read to find out! Please R&R!


"Skip, jump, hoppity-hop!" the three figures chanted as they leaped into puddles caused by the recent rainfall. Rain water had splashed up their robes, mud spluttered on their backs, and their shoes were thoroughly soaked.

"Harry, Ron, Hermione? Is that you?" a scratchy voice rumbled from above the joyful students stamping their feet in the ankle-deep puddles. "What are you doing out here? You know it's not safe to be outside!"

"Hagrid. I am the boy who lived! I can do _anything_!" the raven-haired boy wearing glasses replied, as he cheekily grinned at the half-giant peering down at him.

"Let me rephrase that. Why aren't you cowering under your beds like everyone else; in case déjà vu occurs, and it suddenly starts raining cats and dogs?" Hagrid asked them as they leaped into another large puddle.

Giggling; Hermione, the bushy haired girl looked away avoiding the half-giants eyes thinking _'My bad'_, Ron's face turned the colour of his hair, as he blushed right to the roots of his hair _'It wasn't me!' _was written all over his face, while Harry just grinned thinking,_ 'Maybe Voldemort will come and spare me this embarrassing explanation'_.

Due to their embarrassment, the three Gryffindor students didn't notice that the next puddle that they jumped into was the lake. Their arms waved widely as they tried to surface, but the Giant Squid wanted a friend, three very close friends to snack on.

Looking down into the lake, Hagrid could see the three annoying and incredible nosey students under the water, waving their arms. _'They should know better than to be playing in the rain'_, he thought as he saw tips of Death-Eaters masks rise and fall over the horizon. _'Great, just bloody great'_, "Oi! You three; get back up here!" he bellowed through the water at them and reached down into the water, hoisting them back up.

"Is that…" Hermione asked as she looked into the distance, "…a protest for house elves?" and inched closer for a closer look. "Jiminy cricket! It's the Death-Eaters!"

Rolling his eyes, Hagrid shook his head, "No shit, Sherlock!" and saw a banner coming toward them. _'What the…?' _he thought as he squinted to see what it read.

"Hey 'Mione! Did you finally organise that protest?" Ron asked as he too saw the banner and started to squint to read the fine writing in the centre of the banner.

Suddenly all four started to laugh, the banner read… _**'The Death-Eaters **_**_Union__…fighting against poor working conditions, below average pay, unfair dismissal, and discrimination!'_** the Death-Eaters were rallying against Voldemort!

Suddenly Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy ran out to join their protestors, "It's about bloody time someone did something about the freaking working conditions!" Severus screamed as he pulled his mask on, running faster, leaving Draco to eat his dirt.

"Dark Lord! Dark work! Dark Lord! Dark work! DARK LORD! DARK WORK!" the rallying Death-Eaters chanting got louder as they neared the great castle. Suddenly, brightly coloured fliers flew into the air and landed in the hands of every occupant of Hogwarts. Many were fluro in colour and had moving prints_. 'Very advanced for Death-Eaters who take their orders from a dead sack of bones'_ Hermione thought. While the other fliers like Ron's, would throw apple-green slime balls at the recipients until they read it, making Ron thinking the opposite, _'I did better than this when I was three years old! I could make the slime change colours'_. Harry had gotten a completely different to his friends and was just thinking, _'I like this colour!'_ Hagrid seemed to have missed out and was reading Harry's over his shoulder.

_The Death-Eaters __Union_

**Aims: **

**Ensure better working conditions_ (anything is better than current conditions…hole in ground) _**

**Ensure better wages_ (current wage… non-existent) _**

**Ensure better workplace rights_ (which workplace rights? Apparently we are a dictatorship!) _**

**Equal Employment Opportunity_ (the Dark Lord is a mudblood!) _**

**Ensure Anti-discrimination**_ **(why can't we kill everyone?) **_

Snorting, Hagrid giggled and then broke out in uncontrollable laughter, "He's gonna kill 'em all!" he sniggered as he pointed at the comment beside Equal Employment Opportunity. "Dead Death-Eaters…" he muttered and laughed more until he fell into the on to the muddy ground, rolling around. "Funny, so funny!"

Harry, Hermione and Ron looked down at their friend and Care of Magical Creatures teacher and smirked, when a particularly short Death-Eater with incredible rat-like nails slunk over. "My name is Wormtail and I am representing the Death-Eaters Union this fine afternoon, and I was wondering if you could sign our petition for increased working conditions, wages, workplace rights, the entitlement of equal employment opportunity and anti-discrimination."

"Sure why not!" Harry exclaimed grinning at his friends, "I want to be the _first_ on your list!" just as Ron was signing his name on the bright-pink petition form littered with flying stars, a huge dark cloud formed over the grounds of Hogwarts.

"What a way to crush a day!" Hermione exclaimed as a snake-like man drifted slowly down from the cloud and thought _'What a way to prolong the announcement of his almighty presence, why can't he do what everyone else does and slam a door?'_

"My not-so-faithful minions! I see you have gathered around my arch nemesis!" Lord Voldemort hissed out through the slit in his face that he calls a mouth. _'Great, that's all I need, them leaving me after all I did not make a comeback, with the blood and the bones and the whole cauldron thing, totally not my style!'_

"No my Lord, we have not! Just a small protest for better working conditions!" one of the smaller and clearly newer, Death-Eaters at the back of the crowd called out.

"Step forward!" the skeletal man called out and watched his Death-Eater step forward. "Is this so?" and as the masked man nodded his head, a blast of green light flashed into his chest, immediately ending his life. "Is anyone else protesting against my employing capabilities?"

"No my lord!" came the unison mumbles from the Death-Eaters, apparently dulled from the death of one of their own. The banners were lowered and the fliers combusted, leaving no trace of the wanted group of wizards as they trooped out of Hogwarts grounds and disapparated smartly.

Voldemort, being the evilest of all in two life times left via his dark cloud, as Harry, Hermione, Ron and Hagrid watched, slowly ascending into the sky. As he eventually reached the bottom of the cloud and opened a hatch door, he looked down and comically laughed at his farewell party, and spoke terminator style, "I'll be back!"

_'You are joking, aren't you?'_ Hermione thought as she listened to him try to laugh evilly. _'Give it up already would ya mate, you just can't do it'_, Ron thought as he too tried to cope with the awful sound emitting from Voldemort's mouth. _'He calls that laugh evil? Evil does not do the moving cloud thing!'_ Harry asked himself as the hatch door slammed shut and the cloud moved away. _'It's about time that evil git left. Not wanted here, Dumbledore territory'_ Hagrid thought as he too watched the cloud disappear.

"So are you going to tell me why no body in Hogwarts was outside playing in the puddles?" Hagrid asked as he looked down at the three students standing by him.

"Nah," Ron replied while Hermione and Harry shook their heads, "Wizards don't tell their secrets!" and resolutely jumped in a nearby puddle.

**ha! my new voldemort fic! i hope you like! REVIEW and tell me!**

**Mwah**

**Queen of the Scoubies**


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